Song Listening: Hillsong United- From the inside out
Feeling: confused
Craves: things to be better.

Few weeks ago i had an emotional breakdown, i turned to Steve, he told me a story about a guy losing his wife and 2 daughters within 2 days time. The man faced with 2 choices, 1) Pretend it never happened and live in darkness, 2) Face the reality so afterwards he can look back to all the memories happily. Steve told me the man chose 2), the man took out all the photos and videos of the wife and daughters, and went through all them slowly, one by one, he cried and cried. Afterwards he finally can look at those memories with feeling depress anymore, so the reward is that he can hold onto those memories.

I never had the guts to do that, i've always hide in shame. But today, i sat steady on my chair, and watched the funeral once again, and now i know, i can look back at everything, including this past few months without a tear. It's another part of growing up.

Much happened this weekend, like most of the time, the truth hurts, but it's ok, i will learn from the mistakes. But i shall be gone for a while, going to spend the coming few days or maybe week to redeem myself. To look at the problems and maybe for once, face it, and find a solution instead of putting it aside.

I'll be back my friends. until next time - take care.

xoxo. much love.